To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
