my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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