first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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