I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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