This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
