wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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