remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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