So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
