is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
