Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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