I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize