Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
