Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
