he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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