Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
