at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
