I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
