Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Randomize
