Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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