I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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