mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I need water and some morals
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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