:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
