I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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