OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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