hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Go christen that room with your naked body.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
