I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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