I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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