I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Randomize
