That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
