My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
