Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
