Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
