My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
