I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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