I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
