i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
