YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
two words...techno handjob
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
