I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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