No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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