If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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