Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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