Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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