Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize