Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
