We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
