"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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