I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
