CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
