I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
