problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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