dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
