the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
