am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
