I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
