what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
