So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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