how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
