I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
