so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
