He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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