Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize