I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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