She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize